The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)

In the Christian community many teach the belief that women must learn to submit to their men. There is a serious problem with this teaching. The problem is not, as some would suggest, that women should not submit The problem is that the teaching is incomplete. In his letter to the Christian community in the Greek city of Corinth, Paul argues that men need to submit to their women just as much as women to men. He writes that in marriage, each of the two people gives himself or herself to the other: the woman’s body is no longer hers, but belongs to the man, and the man’s body is no longer his, but belongs to the woman. Obviously, Paul is simply talking about love. The more romantic way of thinking about what Paul says is to understand that in love, you give the other person your heart. It is now in the safe keeping of the beloved. You’re not your own anymore, because you’re not alone. In love, the whole concept of power and authority are supposed to go away. If one or the other is worried about who is in charge, love has not finished its work.

Consider what Jesus told his disciples:

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,  and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25-28)

This obviously has implications for interpersonal relationships of all sorts and most certainly applies to how it works in marriage–and thus parallels Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians.

Your joy is fulfilled in seeing the joy in the other person. If both of you are focusing on the happiness of the other, giving yourself entirely to the other, then you’re both going to have a fabulous time and be completely fulfilled.

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