My sense of direction is practically non-existent. For instance, there is a family from our church that I\u2019ve known for more than twenty years. Can I find my way to their house? No. About three years ago I had come close to learning how to get to their home\u2014but then they moved to a much nicer house on the other side of town. So I\u2019m back to having no idea how to get to their place. <\/p>\n
My sense of direction is so poor that my wife does most of the driving: otherwise I\u2019d leave one day never be seen again: \u201cOh yes, he went to get some milk at the grocery store. He\u2019s been gone for six months. He\u2019ll probably make it home before the end of the year. It\u2019s his way, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Once I do learn how to get somewhere\u2014for instance to said grocery store\u2014I will take the same route from then on. In fact, if I happen to be elsewhere in town and have a need to go to the grocery, then I will drive home first. Then from house I can find my way. I\u2019ve learned only one way to get there. The phrase \u201cyou can\u2019t get there from here\u201d is the story of my lost life. Lost is a lifestyle. In fact, most of the time I don\u2019t quite know where I am. <\/p>\n
When I go to a store for the first time, I carefully contemplate which aisle I to park in, because from then on, I will park only in that aisle. How come? So I can find my car when I leave the store. Otherwise I\u2019d have to wait for the store to close and for everyone to leave until mine was the only car left in the lot. And that doesn\u2019t work if the store is open 24 hours.
\nBut despite the fact that I am mostly unaware of my geographic location, when it comes to finding objects, unearthing lost things\u2014I\u2019m a miracle worker. Just today, my wife asked me \u201cwhere\u2019s the Raid\u2014we\u2019ve got a bunch of ants on the back patio.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were the one who used it last,\u201d I pointed out. \u201cRemember, you found ants on the front porch yesterday and had me get it for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo where did you put it after that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t I give it to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d A pause. \u201cWe\u2019ve got ants. I need it.\u201d<\/p>\n
So I began the hunt for the can of Raid. It took me less than a minute to locate it. First, I checked the location where I normally put it. It wasn\u2019t there. Then I thought about where my wife was likely to stash a can of bug spray without thinking. I looked under the kitchen sink. There it was.<\/p>\n
This is a standard pattern in our home. <\/p>\n
My youngest daughter will regularly complain, \u201cI can\u2019t find my iPod.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll ask about where she was when she last had it. <\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d And then she\u2019s mad at me. <\/p>\n
So, I\u2019ll begin excavating the black hole she calls her room. Normally I\u2019ll find the lost item within a minute. Usually it\u2019s hiding under a plate on her desk, or beneath a pile of shirts and shorts on her floor.
\nMy oldest daughter will wonder where a book might be located. I\u2019ll snag it in no time. My wife will wonder where the serving tray that we use once a year at Christmas time might be. I\u2019ll have it on the kitchen counter within two minutes. My wife can\u2019t find her keys, or can\u2019t locate her shoes? A brief survey of the premises and I\u2019ll have them in no time.<\/p>\n
This ability to find things extends to other aspects of my existence. Someone will wonder where the Bible says something. They\u2019ll give me a look. I\u2019ll flip through the pages on my iPad. Within thirty seconds I can recite chapter and verse. <\/p>\n
I\u2019ve had friends call me on the phone and ask me \u201cdo you know the address of Art\u2019s Bakery\u201d or some such place. I\u2019ll type a query into Google and have it for them in less than ten seconds. Or they\u2019ll wonder about a phrase in Shakespeare or Milton, or be frustrated because they can\u2019t find anything about a particular obscure topic in sociology that they need for their research paper that\u2019s due tomorrow. Within moments I\u2019ll have what they need.<\/p>\n
For whatever reason I seem to be able to find things online that other people can\u2019t. My wife recently wanted to find a book she only vaguely remembered from her childhood\u2014something about a time traveling teacher. Based on her fuzzy recollection I located the book in less than five minutes and ordered her a copy. This, after she\u2019d spent more than a year, off and on, unsuccessfully hunting for it.<\/p>\n
But I find myself puzzled. <\/p>\n
Why it is that I can snag the most obscure information in a snap, unearth lost keys and iPods, but I can\u2019t I find my children\u2019s school, the grocery store, or even my car in a parking lot?<\/p>\n
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