![\"John](\"http:\/\/nettelhorst.com\/blog1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/johnoftheapocaplypseconcept3a1-201x300.jpg\")
<\/a>John of the Apocalypse<\/p><\/div>An excerpt from my novel, John of the Apocalypse<\/em><\/a>, available as an e-book for the Kindle: \tJohn frowned. \u201cYeah, I\u2019ve noticed.\u201d He paused. It means, \u201cMy God, my God, why have you forsaken me?\u201d<\/p>\n \tLydia\u2019s eyes brightened. \u201cOh, I\u2019ve heard that before; why would he have said such a thing?\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cI heard someone tell me it signified that when God put all the sins of the world on Jesus, that God turned his back on him, that for the first time ever, Jesus was separated from his Father\u2026\u201d began Eusebius.<\/p>\n John laughed, a bitter, derisive sort of laugh. \u201cWhat a load of B.S,\u201d he commented, then frowned, when he noticed the shocked look that Lydia gave him. As if she had never heard such language before. Of course, she wasn\u2019t a fisherman, was she?<\/p>\n \t\u201cExcuse me\u2026\u201d she began.<\/p>\n \t\u201cHe\u2019d been betrayed by one of his closest friends, and all the rest of them had run away. He had been beaten nearly to death with a whip, he\u2019d had a crown made out of thorns pushed onto his scalp, he\u2019d been kicked, he\u2019d had his beard and hair plucked out by the roots, he\u2019d been spit on and mocked and then finally nailed naked to a cross and left to die a slow and miserable death. What the hell would you have expected him to say, huh? \u2018Oh praise you God, for this great and marvelous blessing?!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n \t\u201cWell, he is God\u2019s Son, you know\u2026\u201d began Lydia.<\/p>\n \t\u201cHe was a man!\u201d shouted John, loudly. \u201cDon\u2019t you freaking get it? Jesus was a human being, just like you, just like your husband, just like me.\u201d He could feel his nostrils flaring, his heart was thumping; he wanted to get control of himself again, but the words just kept coming. \u201cHow did you respond when you were beaten? You were ready to sacrifice to the great god Domitian, weren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \tEusebius swallowed.<\/p>\n \t\u201cBut he was God\u2026\u201d began Lydia.<\/p>\n \t\u201cTell me Eusebius, did you think that Domitian was divine?\u201d<\/p>\n \tHe shook his head.<\/p>\n \t\u201cDid you have any doubt about who Jesus was? Had you begun to question the rightness of your cause, the certainty of eternal life?\u201d<\/p>\n \tEusebius shook his head.<\/p>\n \t\u201cBut you were still going to pour wine on Caesar\u2019s altar.\u201d<\/p>\n \tHe nodded, bowed his head, started to shake.<\/p>\n \t\u201cBut he was God!\u201d insisted Lydia.<\/p>\n \t\u201cHe was a man; and he died like men die when they\u2019re on a cross, when they\u2019ve been beaten: he was in agony, he was worn out, and he was alone. Everyone had abandoned him, and now he was just dying there, and nothing was happening, and life was going on without him, and tomorrow he was going to be dead, but everyone else would still be there. The sky was dark, no dove descended from the sky, no words shook the earth announcing that \u201cthis is my Son, in whom I\u2019m well pleased.\u201d He was stuck on that Roman cross, and three women and one friend stood there helplessly and watched him die and there wasn\u2019t a thing any of us could do to help him, to make him feel better, to make the pain go away.\u201d John sobbed. \u201cAnd so he just died, alone, abandoned, and hopelessly.\u201d<\/p>\n \t\u201cBut he was God.\u201d<\/p>\n \t\u201cHe died by himself, killed by the enemies of God. What the hell else was he going to say, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n \t\u201cBut how could Jesus feel despair?\u201d asked Lydia.<\/p>\n \t\u201cHow could he not?\u201d asked John. \u201cHe was a human being; he had the same feelings, the same hopes, the same needs that all the rest of us have. Sure he was God, is God\u2014since he lives again\u2014but he was human, and that meant all the things it means for us to be human. He never screwed up like the rest of us, but otherwise, he felt what we feel: he was sad, he was happy, he was angry, he was scared, he felt lonely and he felt despair.\u201d John shook his head. \u201cWhy are you Greeks so loathe to admit that there\u2019s nothing wrong with being made of flesh?\u201d He picked up his cup, looked at it, rubbed his fingers on the smooth sides of the ceramic bowl. \u201cGod created us to be like we are: to sweat, to get tired, to make love, to touch and feel, to laugh and cry. This cup contains wine, and the wine makes me feel good; I like the taste, I savor the experience, I wallow in it; I live my life fully, and rejoice in what I feel, what I taste, what I see, what I touch. The world around us is full of pleasures, of satisfactions, of enjoyment, and it is there to be enjoyed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow Epicurean\u2026\u201d commented Lydia.<\/p>\n John ignored her, went on. \u201cThere is no virtue in denying your senses, in pretending that you don\u2019t feel; no virtue attaches to you from seeking discomfort instead of pleasure. You are not any closer to God, you are not any more spiritual when you refrain from anything that might be fun. Why is the sun warm, the air filled with the smell of sweet flowers, the grass green, the water wet? Why is there wine, and bread and fruit? Do you cringe from pain? Why does the noxious, the painful, the ugly and the uncomfortable make you flinch away? Why are you attracted to the pleasant, the sweet, the warm, the loving, the happy? Jesus was human like that. He loved life; he felt life. He experienced the full range of emotions.\u201d John paused. \u201cAnd you know what? We human beings were created in God\u2019s image; we\u2019re just like him, the lot of us. So feeling, being alive\u2014these were not new experiences to Jesus; God knew those feelings; God has those feelings. Feelings\u2014they\u2019re not an evil thing. They simply are, like the blue in the sky, or the wet in water. You seem bothered by Jesus\u2019 cry of despair when he died.\u201d John paused, shrugged his shoulders. \u201cI\u2019d be bothered only if he hadn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n An excerpt from my novel, John of the Apocalypse, available as an e-book for the Kindle: * * * \u201cSo what was that last thing you heard Jesus say?\u201d demanded Albertus. \u201cI wish you\u2019d stick with Greek, you know; or … Continue reading
\n
\n\t\u201cSo what was that last thing you heard Jesus say?\u201d demanded Albertus. \u201cI wish you\u2019d stick with Greek, you know; or have you noticed? You\u2019re the only Jew here.\u201d<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/nettelhorst.com\/blog1\/wp-content\/plugins\/send-to-kindle\/media\/white-15.png\")
Send to Kindle<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"