Sickness

The Serenity Prayer plays frequently in my mind:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”

It doesn’t always help, since my biggest concern is something I have little control over, can’t fix—and yet I desperately hope that something can be done. It’s my youngest daughter’s mental health problems.

My youngest daughter doesn’t seem to be getting better—the episodes of madness, of inchoate and unreasoning rage, remain. The only plus in this is that the meltdowns are shorter now, though no less intense—and thankfully lacking in property damage and physical violence directed at me. Verbal abuse continues, however.

After an explosion, as always, there is remorse. She experiences confusion, sorrow, and she desperately wants the episodes of madness to end—but once an episode begins, the otherwise pleasant, cheerful and caring person utterly vanishes. The person who wants to be there cannot be found.

A simple thing this weekend tripped her into instant, blinding, screaming rage: her laptop computer was out of power, even though she insisted it was plugged in. Of course, the plug was loose. Easily correctable. But for her, the rational person vanished in a moment, replaced by a raging, cursing, inferno that resisted all attempts at solving the problem.

Intermittent Explosive Disorder it is called. IED would be the acronym, which brings to mind the improvised explosive devices notorious in Iraq and Afghanistan that have created such havoc and suffering for our soldiers in those far off lands. But this IED, the IED that has infested my daughter’s brain, that explodes on my wife and I without warning and without obvious cause is described this way by Wikipedia:

“Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a behavioral disorder characterized by explosive outbursts of anger, often to the point of rage, that are disproportionate to the situation at hand (i.e., impulsive screaming triggered by relatively inconsequential events). Impulsive aggression is unpremeditated, and is defined by a disproportionate reaction to any provocation, real or perceived. Some individuals have reported affective changes prior to an outburst (e.g., tension, mood changes, energy changes, etc.).
“The disorder is currently categorized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) under the “Disruptive, Impulse-Control, and Conduct Disorders” category. The disorder itself is not easily characterized and often exhibits comorbidity with other mood disorders, particularly bipolar disorder. Individuals diagnosed with IED report their outbursts as being brief (lasting less than an hour), with a variety of bodily symptoms (sweating, stuttering, chest tightness, twitching, palpitations) reported by a third of one sample. Aggressive acts are frequently reported accompanied by a sensation of relief and in some cases pleasure, but often followed by later remorse.”

The Wikipedia article certainly describes her symptoms well. As it points out, in our youngest daughter’s case, it is indeed related to her bipolar disorder. If the triggers were predictable, if she always reacted to a problem with an explosion, then it might be easier to handle, easier to cope with, easier to fix. Unfortunately, a word, a phrase, a problem that yesterday she took in stride, today sends her off to kick a hole in the wall while she screams blistering invective and yells that “You’re not my father!” and “You never do anything for me” and “you don’t care about me.”

She has a psychiatrist that she sees monthly, but she needs a therapist on top of that. It has taken us awhile to find a therapist for her, however. Therapist after therapist that we contacted worked only with people who had suffered some trauma—soldiers back from the war with post-traumatic stress disorder, crime victims, those recovering from serious illness or those trying to get past their grief after having lost a loved one. But to find a therapist who wants to work with someone who may take years to improve, someone who has ongoing mental health issues not related to any trauma, was surprisingly difficult. We finally managed it, and so her first appointment is scheduled for the middle of October.

Our goal, the goal of her psychiatrist, the goal of her school psychologist, is that she get stabilized. The current medications that she is on have helped tremendously—but she is not at all stable—not by a long shot. She has returned to independent study at school. Unlike other people her age, she cannot get a driver’s license, she cannot travel by airplane. She has difficulty maintaining friendships, she is largely unemployable, and she cannot enjoy the activities and freedoms of a normal high school senior. She knows that she is missing out and she understands and accepts the reasons when she is not raging. She likes coming to church and she attends prayer meeting, where she regularly and clearly describes her mental health issues and asks for specific prayer regarding them.

Thankfully, our church family understands and accepts the reality of her mental health problems. We are fortunate in that regard. We know a former missionary who faces severe depression to the point that she has on occasion had to have electroshock therapy. She cannot tell people in her church about her suffering; she even keeps it from one of her daughters and her son-in-law. Most of the people in that church believe that mental disorders are not an illness. They believe it is something that people can fix for themselves “if only they prayed more” or “if only they weren’t such a sinner.”

Telling a mentally ill person just to “snap out of it” or “stop acting like that” or “pray more,” or “stop sinning” or “if you just had more faith”—is akin to telling a paraplegic to stop being so lazy and wicked: “Just get out of that wheel chair. You know you can.” Or telling her parents, “if you’d spank her more, then she’d start walking.”

A broken brain is no more your fault than a broken back.

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Siding Spring

Source SPACE.com: All about our solar system, outer space and exploration.

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Source: Sense About Science

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What Matters

The Lord and his disciples were traveling along and came to a village. When they got there, a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat down in front of the Lord and was listening to what he said. Martha was worried about all that had to be done. Finally, she went to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it bother you that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to come and help me!”

The Lord answered, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and upset about so many things, but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen what is best, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38–42)

What does Jesus want us to do? Once we know, we shouldn’t worry about what our neighbor is doing or not doing. Just because Jesus has us doing something and just because it is vitally important, doesn’t mean that we need to force someone else to join in our task.

Mary and Martha, with their brother Lazarus, lived in Bethany, a village on the slope of the Mount of Olives, barely two miles east of Jerusalem. They became good friends with Jesus.

But Martha makes at least three mistakes in her relationship with her sister. First, if she wanted something of her sister, then she should have talked to her sister. Why go to someone else? Second, Jesus may have been a man, but he was not Mary’s brother or father or any other male relative. Based on the prevailing custom of the time, Jesus had no authority over Mary’s behavior. And finally, Martha was the one who believed that there was work that needed to get done around the house. Well and good, but why should Mary have to have the same concerns that Martha did?

What was more important than whatever Martha was doing was the guest that she was ostensibly doing it for. Martha forgot that Jesus was more important than the preparations. Mary, in contrast, had chosen to focus her attentions on the guest, rather than on preparations for the guest.

While people might appreciate the meal and a clean place to be, what they really appreciate is the time they spend with us. People matter more than anything else.

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Don’t Be Afraid

The Sabbath was over, and it was almost daybreak on Sunday when Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. Suddenly a strong earthquake struck, and the Lord’s angel came down from heaven. He rolled away the stone and sat on it. The angel looked as bright as lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards shook from fear and fell down, as though they were dead.

The angel said to the women, “Don’t be afraid! I know you are looking for Jesus, who was nailed to a cross. He isn’t here! God has raised him to life, just as Jesus said he would. Come, see the place where his body was lying. Now hurry! Tell his disciples that he has been raised to life and is on his way to Galilee. Go there, and you will see him. That is what I came to tell you.”

The women were frightened and yet very happy, as they hurried from the tomb and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them and greeted them. They went near him, held on to his feet, and worshiped him. Then Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid! Tell my followers to go to Galilee. They will see me there.” (Matthew 28:1–10)

The first person to know that Jesus was the Messiah was a woman. Likewise, the first person to know Jesus had been resurrected was a woman. That women are the first witnesses to Jesus’ resurrection is significant. Had the gospel writers been just making up the stories, they would never have chosen women the first witnesses. In the first century, in both Greek and Hebrew society, women were not regarded as reliable witnesses. No man would have ever picked them as the leading characters in the foundational event of Christianity.

It makes sense that the first words from the angel to the two women were “Don’t be afraid.” Everything they thought they knew had been overthrown. They’d just experienced an earthquake that had shaken the land, but the resurrection of Jesus was an earthquake in their souls.

The women left the angel happy, but still frightened. That was when Jesus met them. Suddenly they had not just the words of an angel, but the words of Jesus himself. Any doubts they might have still harbored were gone.

Though the angel told the women to not be afraid, they were still frightened. But when Jesus came, their fear finally went away for good. Jesus can take away what scares us. He is alive again and ever with us.

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Europa

Source: NASA

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Paradise

The soldiers also mocked [Jesus], coming up to Him, offering Him sour wine, and saying, “If You are the King of the Jews, save Yourself!”

Now there was also an inscription above Him, “THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.”

One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, “Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!”

But the other answered, and rebuking him said, “Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.”

And he was saying, “Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!”

And He said to him, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:36–43)

Jesus knows what it’s like to be mocked. He knows what it’s like to be bullied. And he knows what it is to suffer. But he didn’t let even the most extreme circumstances stop him from doing what he needed to do or focusing on the needs of someone else instead of himself. Two criminals hung on crosses with Jesus; one joined in mocking him, the other accepted his fate and rebuked the mockery.

The thief on Jesus’ right did not have the time or opportunity to do any good works, to make restitution for the crimes for which he’d been condemned. He could not join a church, he could not tithe, and he could not get baptized. He didn’t walk an aisle or even express repentance. He did not call Jesus Lord. All he did was address Jesus by name and ask him to remember him when he came into his kingdom. He had simple faith, and made a simple request.

And on the basis of those few words, Jesus told the criminal—who remains unnamed—that he would join Jesus in Paradise that very day. The word “Paradise” that Jesus used had originated with the Persians. It referred to the pleasure gardens belonging to the Persian king. Why that very day? Because before the sun went down that evening, both that criminal and Jesus would be dead.

All human beings are like that criminal on the cross, unable to save themselves or do anything at all to improve their situation. Jesus did everything and gave everything so that sinners who do nothing can join him in Paradise.

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Strategy

Jesus decided to leave Judea and to start going through Galilee because the leaders of the people wanted to kill him. It was almost time for the Festival of Shelters, and Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Why don’t you go to Judea? Then your disciples can see what you are doing. No one does anything in secret, if they want others to know about them. So let the world know what you are doing!” Even Jesus’ own brothers had not yet become his followers.

Jesus answered, “My time hasn’t yet come, but your time is always here. The people of this world cannot hate you. They hate me, because I tell them that they do evil things. Go on to the festival. My time hasn’t yet come, and I am not going.” Jesus said this and stayed on in Galilee.

After Jesus’ brothers had gone to the festival, he went secretly, without telling anyone.

During the festival the leaders looked for Jesus and asked, “Where is he?” The crowds even got into an argument about him. Some were saying, “Jesus is a good man,” while others were saying, “He is lying to everyone.” But the people were afraid of their leaders, and none of them talked in public about him.

When the festival was about half over, Jesus went into the temple and started teaching. The leaders were surprised and said, “How does this man know so much? He has never been taught!” John 7:1–15

Was Jesus a liar? His brothers, who didn’t believe he was the Messiah, told him that if he wanted to become public figure, he had to appear in public. So why not come to the Festival of Shelters (also called Succot)? Jesus told them it wasn’t his time, but then snuck there without telling anyone.

When a quarterback misleads the opposing team, has he lied? When the general misleads the enemy, has he lied? When the undercover police officer keeps his cover, has he lied? No, we’d say they were all doing their jobs. Jesus’ behavior must be seen in that light. Jesus’ brothers did not yet believe. That means they were still playing for the other side.

Jesus had a specific plan in mind for the Feast, a plan that did not involve his brothers or their expectations. By misleading his brothers, he ensured the successful outcome of God’s will.

Jesus’ critics, like the Pharisees, were always quick to find fault with his behavior, behavior that often seemed at odds with God’s law. We must be careful not to start thinking like the Pharisees. And we have to be willing to understand that sometimes we don’t know all the answers.

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X-37B

Space.com reports:

The U.S. Air Force’s mysterious X-37B space plane will return to Earth this week —possibly as early as Tuesday — after 22 months in orbit on a secret mission.

The robotic X-37B space plane, also known as the Orbital Test Vehicle, will land at the Vandenberg Air Force Base in California, where Air Force officials are gearing up for its return. As of today (Oct. 12), the X-37B mini-shuttle has been in orbit since December 2012 and racked up a record-shattering 671 days in space.

“Team Vandenberg stands ready to implement safe landing operations for the X-37B Orbital Test Vehicle, the third time for this unique mission” said Col. Keith Baits, 30th Space Wing commander, in a statement on Friday (Oct. 10).

Source Space.com: All about our solar system, outer space and exploration

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A Pet Peeve

A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that one identifies as being particularly infuriating. It’s your “pet,” because you find it more maddening than most of the people around you. In fact, most of the people around you are not be bothered by it in the least. On the contrary, they embrace it as a positive thing—as an obvious good. Which drives you mad.

The term “pet peeve” first appeared in English around 1919. It is derived from the fourteenth-century word “peevish,” which means “ornery or ill-tempered.”

We all have pet peeves. I have several. But I’m going to regale you with just one of mine today.

Recently I was in an online discussion with someone regarding Israel’s recent conflict with the terrorist organization Hamas. She was wanting to understand the background to the conflict and how the situation had gotten to where it was today. I had recently read a good summary of the history of the conflict and so shared the link. She responded with, “Oh, I won’t read that. I don’t trust anything he writes.”

I’m ashamed to admit that my first thought was “Oh, so you’re an irrational idiot.” But instead, I simply searched for the same historical summary written by someone that I knew would better match her politics. It wasn’t the time to give her an introductory course in logical reasoning and research methodologies.

My online acquaintance was not behaving or thinking in a way that is out of the ordinary. Most people approach life the same way she does, and without a second thought.

But is it rational for people to refuse to look at, listen to, or read what comes from a person on account of their politics? Or their religion? Or because of the organization they belong to? Or because they appeared on a program they don’t like? Or on a television network they disapprove of? Or because of where they live? Or on account of their ethnicity? Or their nationality? Is it okay to prejudge what someone has to say without ever hearing what they say, and rejecting what they say simply because of who they are?

Sure, it’s normal. Sure it’s natural. Sure it’s common to think like that. But it’s fundamentally illogical and irrational.

Because they’re deciding—before ever hearing an argument or statement—that someone is wrong because of who they are, rather than because of what they said.

When we refuse to listen to what people say because we don’t like them for whatever reason, we are saying that their words are untrue just because they happened to come out of their mouth.

Rejecting someone’s words because of who they are falls under a class of logical fallacies that are termed fallacies of relevance. That is, they are arguments that have nothing to do with the issue at hand. They are a distraction that keeps people from looking at the facts. And they are incredibly common in politics, advertising and just about everywhere. Their prevalence makes them no less annoying and idiotic. To reject what someone says simply because of who they are is to fall victim to what is called an “argumentum ad hominem.” That’s Latin for “an attack on the person.”

There are two basic types of these “ad hominem” arguments: abusive and circumstantial.

An abusive ad hominem argument is one where the person is attacked over what he said simply because of who he is. An example would be to argue against Adolph Hitler’s comment that “today, the sun is out and there is not a cloud in the sky” simply because he is Adolph Hitler.

After all, who he is—a psychopathic Nazi—has no bearing on whether the sun is shining or whether there is a cloud in the sky. If you disagree with him, you have to do so because it is, in fact raining. That he is Adolph Hitler has no bearing on the truth or falsity of his weather report.

The other sort of ad hominem argument is the circumstantial ad hominem. For instance when a Congressman stands up in front of a crowd and comments, “Two plus two is four.” If you stand up and yell, “You can’t listen to anything that man says, he’s anti-union.” Then your assertion is invalid. Two plus two are still four, no matter if he’s pro or anti-union, no matter if he is a fascist or a communist.

If your argument against what someone writes or says, or if your refusal to listen, comes down to simply an attack on the individual, without marshalling any facts or data, then you are guilty of faulty thinking and the only thing you have demonstrated is that you need to take a good course in logic.

Our best bet is to be skeptical of everyone—not just those we don’t like for whatever reason. In fact, we should be most skeptical of those we like and those we agree with. Why? Because our all too human tendency is to pay more attention to arguments which support our point of view while discounting those that don’t. Logic and the scientific method are useful counters to our tendency to only notice what confirms our biases and pre-existing beliefs.

The essence of the scientific method is to attempt to disprove a theory. That’s why falsifiability is so critical. The longer we go without being able to disprove something, the more confidence we can have in a theory.

But in any case, we should always try to be as skeptical of what those we agree with say as we are with those we disagree with. On a practical level, this means we should spend some time reading and listening to those we disagree with, not just those who say what we like. Don’t just surround yourself with yes-men.

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